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Ka Mo`omeheu o Hawai`i 
Hawaiian Culture

Traditional Hawaiian Weddings

Awaiāulu ke aloha
”Bound securely is the love”

By
Kumu Leilehua Yuen

     In ancient times, there was no ceremony comparable to the modern wedding. Marriage, as it is known in the Western World today, did not exist. There was no government licensing, no legal requirements, and no divorce - if a couple decided that their relationship was no longer productive, they simply parted ways. As children were reared by the entire extended family, there was little disruption in the life of the youngsters.

     The maka`ainana, the common people, had traditions which varied from island to island, district to district, and family to family. Pairing could be as simple as deciding to share a sleeping mat and start a family, or as elaborate as the two families getting together, exchanging gifts, and singing as the couple retires to bed. As the house generally was the woman's property, to separate, the man's belongings might simply be removed from the home. Today, we know these kinds of common-law marriages as noho pu.

     Royalty had far more elaborate ceremony when pairing off, though it was not intended to confirm a marriage in the western sense. The ceremony was to ask the blessing of the gods on the children of a royal union, to assure that they were born with perfect bodies and minds, and great mana,  or spiritual power.

     Again, ceremonies varied according to locale and family, and could be as simple as the royal couple being escorted to their new sleeping hale and wrapped together in a sheet of pure white kapa with their family priests and chanters offering prayer and song for the union and offspring, to elaborate ceremonies of several days length involving hundreds of the courts' priests and chanters, relatives, and interested parties. These ceremonies are sometimes called ho`ao.

     After the introduction of Christianity in 1819, the Christian style wedding was adopted by many families and eventually became the legal form.
The term is simply transliterated from the English word "marry" - male pronounced [MAH-lay].

     Feeding each other cake, poi, or anything else, symbolizes that the couple will nurture each other through life, and HOW they do so on the wedding day is considered a symbol of how they will do so in the future. Mashing cake into each other's faces is considered in very poor taste, and taken as a symbol of serious future problems in the marriage! 

     While there was no such thing as cake in ancient Hawai`i, haupia, a coconut pudding, has been a popular treat here for over 1,000 years. Today, haupia cake is an island favorite, and very appropriate for weddings. In the most simple recipe, a coconut-flavored white cake is made, and coated with the haupia pudding, and often decorated with fresh island flowers and ferns.

     Among other festivities, the bride will often dance a special hula for the groom. With the blending of so many cultures in the islands, most weddings today combine traditions from the various branches of the bride's and groom's families

Are you planning a Wedding on Hawai`i Island?

     For wedding advice, tips on planning, a variety of vendors, etiquette, what to serve, honeymoon advice, and just to "talk story" about wedding plans, please visit the Ka`ahele Hawai`i forum.

Wedding Officiant

Kumu Leilehua Yuen is licensed to officiate weddings in the state of Hawai`i. She is honored to help couples create a personal ceremony which is a true expression of their unique love for each other.

Leilehua's husband, Manu Josiah, is often requested to perform for weddings, providing guitar accompaniment, as well as traditional Hawaiian and Native American flute music.